The big C

Well, the good news is that there’s only 1 nodule. The bad news is that it’s probably cancer.
 
The way a PET scan works is that they inject you with a radioactive tracer, and then wait for your body to absorb it. Then they scan you to see how much of the tracer different tissues absorbed. Different types of tissue absorb different amounts of the tracer. Unfortunately, the nodule absorbed the tracer in way that strongly suggests that it’s malignant.
 
Katherine says that as soon as they told me it would very unusual for it to be cancer, she should’ve known right then and there that OF COURSE it was cancer, because that’s just how I roll.
 
The next step is to get a biopsy and find out exactly what we’re dealing with. The assumption is that we’re dealing with PTLD, but we won’t know for sure until it’s biopsied. My transplant team is currently coordinating with multiple other teams to determine the best team and the best method to do the biopsy. One of the questions is, will they do a bronchoscopy and get a sample from the inside, or will they come in from the outside instead. It seems that the tumor is right on the outer edge of my lung, which makes it a bit less clear cut. So now we’re waiting for the other teams to do their assessments and follow up with transplant. We had hoped to get an answer before the weekend, but it’s hard to coordinate between so many different people, and unfortunately things just haven’t come together yet. So now everything is on hold for the weekend and will resume next week.
 
My transplant team has reassured me that they are taking this extremely seriously and will get me the best care possible. At the same time, they also acknowledged that after almost 6 and a half years on anti-rejection meds, this is not an unexpected complication. There is a long list of things that can go wrong after transplant, and for years I’ve been keenly aware that the top 2 on the list are rejection and cancer. So even though this is definitely scary, it also isn’t a huge surprise. There’s a reason I get so much testing done on a very regular basis, and it’s precisely so that we can catch and treat things like this before they do too much damage.
 
Katherine and I have been handling it surprisingly well so far. Not only have we had several days to process and prepare for this possibility, but our bar has been dramatically lowered over the course of the last week. Instead of being like “oh no, cancer!” we were more like “yay, only 1 cancer!” We were both very worried that the PET scan would show multiple areas of concern, and are immensely relieved that only 1 nodule showed up. Now we’re moving on from wondering and worrying mode, and transitioning into go mode. Unfortunately we have a lot of practice dealing with dramatic life-or-death medical issues, and it’s honestly easier to have a problem to tackle than to be sitting around wondering what if.
 
There are still a lot of questions to be answered, and right now I have no idea what this journey is going to look like. I am so grateful to have so much support, not just from Katherine and my mom, but also from my amazing friends and extended family and community. So I'm squaring my shoulders, putting on my fight song playlist, and getting ready for the next battle. CF still hasn’t managed to take me out after 46 years, and it’s for damned sure that I'm not giving up now!