So I’m not exactly having my best week ever…
On Wednesday I had the port put in, which ended up taking longer and being more painful than I expected. If you’re medically squeamish, you may need to skip the rest of this paragraph. To put in the port, they made an incision at the base of my neck and put a catheter into one of my jugular veins (insert Timon from The Lion King shouting “Go for the jugular, the jugular!” here). They made another incision just below my collarbone, and inserted an access point under my skin that IVs can go into. So I now have a weird hard lump under my skin about the size of a marble, which I’m sure is totally attractive and not at all freakish. They tunneled the end of the catheter under my skin and connected it to the access point. And then they sewed me up and sent me on my way.
We didn't do general anesthesia, because my lungs typically have difficulty recovering from that. Instead it was sedation and local anesthesia. It was kinda interesting, because initially I was mostly awake and thinking somewhat clearly, I just couldn’t be bothered by anything. It took some time for the doctor to come in and start the procedure, so I started “testing” the sedative by thinking about upsetting things and seeing whether they bothered me. I then wondered if I could desensitize myself by thinking about upsetting things while I was all calm under sedation, and train myself to not be upset by them. Apparently even under sedation I’m both a dork AND a social worker. I can’t decide if that’s pathetic or impressive.
Unfortunately, for some reason they decided that the appropriate pain medication for being sliced up and horribly bruised is… Tylenol. Which was NOT cutting it. Little hard to sleep when you hurt every time you move.
They didn't have a room for me at the hospital on Wednesday, so I ended up going home. I think that actually may have been for the best, because I was able to spend my first night of post-op misery in the comfort of my own bed. I was admitted on Thursday and got started with IV antibiotics and fluids, and nebulizers/chest PT 4-5 times a day. Unfortunately, I started running a low-grade fever shortly after being admitted, and it hasn't gone away. For some reason my oxygen level has also dropped, and I now get winded from even the slightest exertion. I’ve also been dealing with some GI issues, so I’ve been very nauseous and barely able to eat. And I’m coughing up lots of thick, dark mucus, which is important to get out, but the getting it out part is not so fun. Coughing + healing incisions + nausea is not a pleasant combination. Thankfully, the pain started to ease off on Sunday, so that’s one less thing to deal with.
Right now I’m still in the hospital, still feverish and congested and nauseous and a little sore. I had hoped I could get home for Chanukah, but that’s looking unlikely. I might make it home for PART of Chanukah, but definitely not the first few days.
So that’s my story. I’ve been tired and cranky and haven't even bothered making Pole People yet. Hopefully things will settle and I’ll pull myself together to make some soon. I have a reputation to maintain!
On Wednesday I had the port put in, which ended up taking longer and being more painful than I expected. If you’re medically squeamish, you may need to skip the rest of this paragraph. To put in the port, they made an incision at the base of my neck and put a catheter into one of my jugular veins (insert Timon from The Lion King shouting “Go for the jugular, the jugular!” here). They made another incision just below my collarbone, and inserted an access point under my skin that IVs can go into. So I now have a weird hard lump under my skin about the size of a marble, which I’m sure is totally attractive and not at all freakish. They tunneled the end of the catheter under my skin and connected it to the access point. And then they sewed me up and sent me on my way.
We didn't do general anesthesia, because my lungs typically have difficulty recovering from that. Instead it was sedation and local anesthesia. It was kinda interesting, because initially I was mostly awake and thinking somewhat clearly, I just couldn’t be bothered by anything. It took some time for the doctor to come in and start the procedure, so I started “testing” the sedative by thinking about upsetting things and seeing whether they bothered me. I then wondered if I could desensitize myself by thinking about upsetting things while I was all calm under sedation, and train myself to not be upset by them. Apparently even under sedation I’m both a dork AND a social worker. I can’t decide if that’s pathetic or impressive.
Unfortunately, for some reason they decided that the appropriate pain medication for being sliced up and horribly bruised is… Tylenol. Which was NOT cutting it. Little hard to sleep when you hurt every time you move.
They didn't have a room for me at the hospital on Wednesday, so I ended up going home. I think that actually may have been for the best, because I was able to spend my first night of post-op misery in the comfort of my own bed. I was admitted on Thursday and got started with IV antibiotics and fluids, and nebulizers/chest PT 4-5 times a day. Unfortunately, I started running a low-grade fever shortly after being admitted, and it hasn't gone away. For some reason my oxygen level has also dropped, and I now get winded from even the slightest exertion. I’ve also been dealing with some GI issues, so I’ve been very nauseous and barely able to eat. And I’m coughing up lots of thick, dark mucus, which is important to get out, but the getting it out part is not so fun. Coughing + healing incisions + nausea is not a pleasant combination. Thankfully, the pain started to ease off on Sunday, so that’s one less thing to deal with.
Right now I’m still in the hospital, still feverish and congested and nauseous and a little sore. I had hoped I could get home for Chanukah, but that’s looking unlikely. I might make it home for PART of Chanukah, but definitely not the first few days.
So that’s my story. I’ve been tired and cranky and haven't even bothered making Pole People yet. Hopefully things will settle and I’ll pull myself together to make some soon. I have a reputation to maintain!
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