From Purim to Pandemic to Pesach

The good news is I haven’t had any symptoms since Purim. The bad news is the world has gone to pieces since then!

It’s kind of funny because while everyone else is losing their minds, for me these restrictions and anxieties are just a mild escalation. Welcome to post-transplant life everyone! I’ve been scrubbing my hands and avoiding crowds and running away from anyone showing any signs of illness for almost a year now. And even before transplant I was cautious about germs, as any respiratory infection had the potential to be disastrous. Since I’ve already been on edge all cold and flu season, I initially felt relatively calm about the whole COVID-19 situation.

Then the shuls closed down. And the schools. Large gatherings were prohibited, then smaller gatherings. The list of closed businesses grew by the day, and an 8pm curfew was established. Places that previously were safe for me became off limits, as stores were swamped with crowds of panicked shoppers at all hours of the day. Then there were the regular emails from Penn Medicine with new restrictions: all non-urgent appointments and procedures postponed indefinitely, routine followups to be conducted virtually, no visitors allowed. I started feeling more anxious as my already small world kept getting smaller.

On Tuesday I went to Penn’s COVID-19 testing center for a drive-through test, even though I haven’t had any symptoms aside from a few hours of fever and feeling a little off for one day last week. We don’t actually think I have COVID-19, as we’d expect an immunosuppressed transplant recipient to have a far more significant response. But nothing else showed up on my viral swab to explain my symptoms, and now I’m due for another bronchoscopy. During a bronchoscopy the infection could become aerosolized and contaminate the room, making it impossible to adequately clean between patients. Due to this I need to be cleared of COVID-19 before I can schedule a bronchoscopy. We also need to make sure I don’t catch it post-test and pre-bronch, so I’m basically semi-quarantined now. And even after the bronch, my transplant team recommends that I pretty much stay home and avoid most in-person human contact now that cases are spreading more rapidly and becoming more prevalent.

Honestly, even that wouldn’t be the biggest deal except for one thing: Pesach. I’ve been feeling increasingly overwhelmed and anxious every time I think about it. I usually go out for yuntiff and Shabbos meals on Pesach, if I’m even home at all. The extent of my Pesach cooking before now has pretty much been limited to hard boiled eggs and matza pizza. I also have never been in this apartment for Pesach and don’t have anything prepared here, since last year I was in the hospital. But now for the first time I can’t rely on going out for ANY Pesach meals, and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to safely accept food prepared by others by then. Suddenly I need to determine and purchase all the utensils and cookware and kitchen accessories I’ll need for Pesach, plus get all the food to make both yuntiff and weekday meals, including a seder. And somehow I’m supposed to do all of this while unable to leave home! I don’t even know what I need or what’s available, how exactly am I supposed to make a shopping list for someone else? Just thinking about it is overwhelming!

Ironically, I spent all of last Pesach stuck in the hospital wishing desperately to be home. And now this Pesach I’ll be locked up inside my home wishing desperately that I could get out. G-d certainly has an interesting sense of humor!